I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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