come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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