I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am spending my child support on dildos
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
