K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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