I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
