I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
