I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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