none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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