Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
