fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
