So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
