somebody snuck up and got me drunk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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