I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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