whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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