In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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