part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize