Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
