I think im going to throw up on grandma
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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