People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
