just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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