This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
