the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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