Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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