It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
