I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
