If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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