so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
