Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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