The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
