She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
