good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
