I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
