hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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