How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just tell him i said nine months
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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