Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
