Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry radiatorbomb hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

Fav 8 992 2169
share tweet
(727): View more from Florida

I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.

Fav 126 1708 4135
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(410): View more from Maryland

he was CRYING into my vagina

Fav 36 1179 12276
share tweet
(214): View more from Texas

didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.

Fav 12 4819 1167
share tweet
(541): View more from Oregon

I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.

(1-541): View more from Oregon

Miracles do happen.

Fav 13 4488 1059
share tweet
(330): View more from Ohio

I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.

Fav 10 3818 1693
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.

Fav 29 5663 1439
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress

Fav 1 594 361
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(250): View more from British Columbia

Guess whose grandma smokes weed?

Fav 0 70 9
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT