i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
