i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I want a musical about memes.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
