so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize