and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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