Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
