i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
