ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
