and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
