Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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