Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
