What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize