Duck Duck Cougar?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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