i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
