tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
