im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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