operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Are we still banned from the library?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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