Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
