it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
