dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
