i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
