Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
he thought i was a dude.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
