Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
