please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
