I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
