Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
