my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
no you cant smoke seaweed
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize