Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
