In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It's blow job season.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
