my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize